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In Case of Fire, Break Gas
The subject is a turn of phrase I find kind of amusing, if only for juvenile and sorta-witty reasons.
Today is Monday for everyone keeping score, which means that the weekend passed by in particularly quick and vaguely unsatisfying fashion. I missed a movie collecting all of the ads for "Bush in 30 Seconds" at the local Omni Center here in town, the grand re-opening of our swanky new Fayetteville Public Library (I think maybe we should see about relocating the Drawing Circles there), a private showing of "The Shawshank Redemption" up in Virginia's apartment, and probably a couple of other things that are too painful to remember not doing. The weekend wasn't a total washout, though, but it has been raining for three days straight. (no, really.)
Odis' game was...interesting. Despite the fact that my character *finally* lived up to his potential and did some serious hurt on the bad guys (including lancing a dragon), I'm still filled with this vaguely...unsatisfied feeling. At this point it could probably be considered whining unless I can pin down exactly what's going on. Poor Odis has been working pretty hard at keeping me, Silver and Delphi happy, and for the most part he's doing a bang-up job. While I could go on about the story so far (and I may just do that later), here's a quick summary: our three characters (a Knight of Solamnia turned lion (me), a ranger of the northlands turned wolf (Delphi) and a thief and pirate turned rat (Silver)) have been playing cat-and-mouse with the Clockworks, an alien race of...biomechanical parasites(?) who have invaded Krynn and taken over the world. We've been hunting and the hunted for quite some time, though we've mostly been getting our asses kicked. Such as life, and the small victories we've come across have been enough to keep us going. We've been thrown into an extraordinary situation with similarly extraordinary abilities, though we're still largely ordinary people. My character, Dah, for example, has been struggling to upkeep the laws of knighthood while traversing into territory completely alien to him, with his closest companions people who have no appreciation for the code. We've established a bond only people who have been through combat together could have, but the foundation is...almost non-existent. We've never even talked about the lives we've had before the Clockworks invaded.
The distance that our characters have from each other is one I find profoundly interesting (though I might be the only person :)), because we drink from the same flask and tend each other's wounds without a second thought, but we can't relate to the emotional/mental toll that our situation is placing on each of us. It's a really rich idea. I've never thought about how that might happen before.
I think the vague dissatisfaction with the game ultimately leads to the fact that I can't bring myself to play Dah the way I see him. He's this huge, monstrous, powerhouse of a character but mentally he's probably a lot softer than either Delphi's or Silver's characters. He was probably the most innocent of the three before Krynn fell to the Clockworks, and he's seeing all the standards and ideals he's believed in compromised or forgotten...and this is a process that he's succumbed to. He resents himself for it, doesn't feel himself worthy to uphold the name of his order, or to have all these...epic things placed upon him. I just don't see Dah as strong enough to take all this without some really deep and lasting damage.
I don't think I've been playing that effectively (mainly because I think it'd be a distraction from the story, and an annoyance to deal with for Delphi and Silver), so there's this sense of betrayal that I feel. Every time I crunch the numbers and see how sick-wicked powerful Dah has become (OK, yeah, it really is cool :D) I can't help but feel a twinge of guilt for it. The victories seem a little hollow because there's no heart to it. And I'm not sure whether that's my problem or if it should be brought up to the other players in general. Maybe if I write a story or two to correct the issue, I'd feel better...if I get time I'll try it, see how it goes.
Saturday was spent recuperating from the game and missing all sorts of things that were going on...though I did have a pretty good time on-line (*winkwink to the longneck*). Sunday Prismo and 2's plans to go to Devil's Den were rained out, so I tagged along and went out to On The Mark and bowling with them and Joey.
I don't really consider myself a good bowler; I'm happy if I have a score in triple digits. I was fairly amazed, then, that I won 2 out of 3 games with a 122 and 110, respectively. The third game blew, I bowled a 68, and 2 pulled out a pretty decisive victory with a 126. Apparently, "speed bowling" doesn't agree with me nearly as well as it did him. Still, I had enough fun (and posted a decent enough showing) that I think bowling might replace mini-golf as my game of choice for the winter. :)
Came home and the good mood rapidly deteriorated. Computer stuff sapped my good will towards man rather quickly and I got cold-shouldered by a few more people, which turned me downright ornery. :) The trouble is, I care too much about being friendly with people, and I always take it personally when things don't work out for whatever reason. It's like someone else is validating all the worst things a little asshole is whispering at me inside my head. The worst part is, I know it's all trippy headstuff, I even know how to get out of it, but I don't. I probably won't be paging folks out of the blue for a while, but I am working at making myself more available to folks who want to talk. I think that might go a long way towards re-establishing a good equilibrium. Well, that and turning the talkers off for a second to concentrate on all the more productive things I could be doing.
Today is Monday for everyone keeping score, which means that the weekend passed by in particularly quick and vaguely unsatisfying fashion. I missed a movie collecting all of the ads for "Bush in 30 Seconds" at the local Omni Center here in town, the grand re-opening of our swanky new Fayetteville Public Library (I think maybe we should see about relocating the Drawing Circles there), a private showing of "The Shawshank Redemption" up in Virginia's apartment, and probably a couple of other things that are too painful to remember not doing. The weekend wasn't a total washout, though, but it has been raining for three days straight. (no, really.)
Odis' game was...interesting. Despite the fact that my character *finally* lived up to his potential and did some serious hurt on the bad guys (including lancing a dragon), I'm still filled with this vaguely...unsatisfied feeling. At this point it could probably be considered whining unless I can pin down exactly what's going on. Poor Odis has been working pretty hard at keeping me, Silver and Delphi happy, and for the most part he's doing a bang-up job. While I could go on about the story so far (and I may just do that later), here's a quick summary: our three characters (a Knight of Solamnia turned lion (me), a ranger of the northlands turned wolf (Delphi) and a thief and pirate turned rat (Silver)) have been playing cat-and-mouse with the Clockworks, an alien race of...biomechanical parasites(?) who have invaded Krynn and taken over the world. We've been hunting and the hunted for quite some time, though we've mostly been getting our asses kicked. Such as life, and the small victories we've come across have been enough to keep us going. We've been thrown into an extraordinary situation with similarly extraordinary abilities, though we're still largely ordinary people. My character, Dah, for example, has been struggling to upkeep the laws of knighthood while traversing into territory completely alien to him, with his closest companions people who have no appreciation for the code. We've established a bond only people who have been through combat together could have, but the foundation is...almost non-existent. We've never even talked about the lives we've had before the Clockworks invaded.
The distance that our characters have from each other is one I find profoundly interesting (though I might be the only person :)), because we drink from the same flask and tend each other's wounds without a second thought, but we can't relate to the emotional/mental toll that our situation is placing on each of us. It's a really rich idea. I've never thought about how that might happen before.
I think the vague dissatisfaction with the game ultimately leads to the fact that I can't bring myself to play Dah the way I see him. He's this huge, monstrous, powerhouse of a character but mentally he's probably a lot softer than either Delphi's or Silver's characters. He was probably the most innocent of the three before Krynn fell to the Clockworks, and he's seeing all the standards and ideals he's believed in compromised or forgotten...and this is a process that he's succumbed to. He resents himself for it, doesn't feel himself worthy to uphold the name of his order, or to have all these...epic things placed upon him. I just don't see Dah as strong enough to take all this without some really deep and lasting damage.
I don't think I've been playing that effectively (mainly because I think it'd be a distraction from the story, and an annoyance to deal with for Delphi and Silver), so there's this sense of betrayal that I feel. Every time I crunch the numbers and see how sick-wicked powerful Dah has become (OK, yeah, it really is cool :D) I can't help but feel a twinge of guilt for it. The victories seem a little hollow because there's no heart to it. And I'm not sure whether that's my problem or if it should be brought up to the other players in general. Maybe if I write a story or two to correct the issue, I'd feel better...if I get time I'll try it, see how it goes.
Saturday was spent recuperating from the game and missing all sorts of things that were going on...though I did have a pretty good time on-line (*winkwink to the longneck*). Sunday Prismo and 2's plans to go to Devil's Den were rained out, so I tagged along and went out to On The Mark and bowling with them and Joey.
I don't really consider myself a good bowler; I'm happy if I have a score in triple digits. I was fairly amazed, then, that I won 2 out of 3 games with a 122 and 110, respectively. The third game blew, I bowled a 68, and 2 pulled out a pretty decisive victory with a 126. Apparently, "speed bowling" doesn't agree with me nearly as well as it did him. Still, I had enough fun (and posted a decent enough showing) that I think bowling might replace mini-golf as my game of choice for the winter. :)
Came home and the good mood rapidly deteriorated. Computer stuff sapped my good will towards man rather quickly and I got cold-shouldered by a few more people, which turned me downright ornery. :) The trouble is, I care too much about being friendly with people, and I always take it personally when things don't work out for whatever reason. It's like someone else is validating all the worst things a little asshole is whispering at me inside my head. The worst part is, I know it's all trippy headstuff, I even know how to get out of it, but I don't. I probably won't be paging folks out of the blue for a while, but I am working at making myself more available to folks who want to talk. I think that might go a long way towards re-establishing a good equilibrium. Well, that and turning the talkers off for a second to concentrate on all the more productive things I could be doing.
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<:)</lj-cut>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]
The subject is a turn of phrase I find kind of amusing, if only for juvenile and sorta-witty reasons.
Today is Monday for everyone keeping score, which means that the weekend passed by in particularly quick and vaguely unsatisfying fashion. I missed a movie collecting all of the ads for "Bush in 30 Seconds" at the local Omni Center here in town, the grand re-opening of our swanky new Fayetteville Public Library (I think maybe we should see about relocating the Drawing Circles there), a private showing of "The Shawshank Redemption" up in Virginia's apartment, and probably a couple of other things that are too painful to remember not doing. The weekend wasn't a total washout, though, but it has been raining for three days straight. (no, really.)
<lj-cut text="Gaming geekery.">Odis' game was...interesting. Despite the fact that my character *finally* lived up to his potential and did some serious hurt on the bad guys (including lancing a dragon), I'm still filled with this vaguely...unsatisfied feeling. At this point it could probably be considered whining unless I can pin down exactly what's going on. Poor Odis has been working pretty hard at keeping me, Silver and Delphi happy, and for the most part he's doing a bang-up job. While I could go on about the story so far (and I may just do that later), here's a quick summary: our three characters (a Knight of Solamnia turned lion (me), a ranger of the northlands turned wolf (Delphi) and a thief and pirate turned rat (Silver)) have been playing cat-and-mouse with the Clockworks, an alien race of...biomechanical parasites(?) who have invaded Krynn and taken over the world. We've been hunting and the hunted for quite some time, though we've mostly been getting our asses kicked. Such as life, and the small victories we've come across have been enough to keep us going. We've been thrown into an extraordinary situation with similarly extraordinary abilities, though we're still largely ordinary people. My character, Dah, for example, has been struggling to upkeep the laws of knighthood while traversing into territory completely alien to him, with his closest companions people who have no appreciation for the code. We've established a bond only people who have been through combat together could have, but the foundation is...almost non-existent. We've never even talked about the lives we've had before the Clockworks invaded.
The distance that our characters have from each other is one I find profoundly interesting (though I might be the only person :)), because we drink from the same flask and tend each other's wounds without a second thought, but we can't relate to the emotional/mental toll that our situation is placing on each of us. It's a really rich idea. I've never thought about how that might happen before.
I think the vague dissatisfaction with the game ultimately leads to the fact that I can't bring myself to play Dah the way I see him. He's this huge, monstrous, powerhouse of a character but mentally he's probably a lot softer than either Delphi's or Silver's characters. He was probably the most innocent of the three before Krynn fell to the Clockworks, and he's seeing all the standards and ideals he's believed in compromised or forgotten...and this is a process that he's succumbed to. He resents himself for it, doesn't feel himself worthy to uphold the name of his order, or to have all these...epic things placed upon him. I just don't see Dah as strong enough to take all this without some really deep and lasting damage.
I don't think I've been playing that effectively (mainly because I think it'd be a distraction from the story, and an annoyance to deal with for Delphi and Silver), so there's this sense of betrayal that I feel. Every time I crunch the numbers and see how sick-wicked powerful Dah has become (OK, yeah, it really is cool :D) I can't help but feel a twinge of guilt for it. The victories seem a little hollow because there's no heart to it. And I'm not sure whether that's my problem or if it should be brought up to the other players in general. Maybe if I write a story or two to correct the issue, I'd feel better...if I get time I'll try it, see how it goes.</lj-cut>
<lj-cut text="Sunday Shenanigans.">Saturday was spent recuperating from the game and missing all sorts of things that were going on...though I did have a pretty good time on-line (*winkwink to the longneck*). Sunday Prismo and 2's plans to go to Devil's Den were rained out, so I tagged along and went out to On The Mark and bowling with them and Joey.
I don't really consider myself a good bowler; I'm happy if I have a score in triple digits. I was fairly amazed, then, that I won 2 out of 3 games with a 122 and 110, respectively. The third game blew, I bowled a 68, and 2 pulled out a pretty decisive victory with a 126. Apparently, "speed bowling" doesn't agree with me nearly as well as it did him. Still, I had enough fun (and posted a decent enough showing) that I think bowling might replace mini-golf as my game of choice for the winter. :)
Came home and the good mood rapidly deteriorated. Computer stuff sapped my good will towards man rather quickly and I got cold-shouldered by a few more people, which turned me downright ornery. :) The trouble is, I care too much about being friendly with people, and I always take it personally when things don't work out for whatever reason. It's like someone else is validating all the worst things a little asshole is whispering at me inside my head. The worst part is, I know it's all trippy headstuff, I even know how to get out of it, but I don't. I probably won't be paging folks out of the blue for a while, but I am working at making myself more available to folks who want to talk. I think that might go a long way towards re-establishing a good equilibrium. Well, that and turning the talkers off for a second to concentrate on all the more productive things I could be doing. <:)</lj-cut>
Now, a bit of work and game with Lazarus tonight. I'm already in love with my character, though the world's still really fuzzy. Looking forward to it. :)
Today is Monday for everyone keeping score, which means that the weekend passed by in particularly quick and vaguely unsatisfying fashion. I missed a movie collecting all of the ads for "Bush in 30 Seconds" at the local Omni Center here in town, the grand re-opening of our swanky new Fayetteville Public Library (I think maybe we should see about relocating the Drawing Circles there), a private showing of "The Shawshank Redemption" up in Virginia's apartment, and probably a couple of other things that are too painful to remember not doing. The weekend wasn't a total washout, though, but it has been raining for three days straight. (no, really.)
<lj-cut text="Gaming geekery.">Odis' game was...interesting. Despite the fact that my character *finally* lived up to his potential and did some serious hurt on the bad guys (including lancing a dragon), I'm still filled with this vaguely...unsatisfied feeling. At this point it could probably be considered whining unless I can pin down exactly what's going on. Poor Odis has been working pretty hard at keeping me, Silver and Delphi happy, and for the most part he's doing a bang-up job. While I could go on about the story so far (and I may just do that later), here's a quick summary: our three characters (a Knight of Solamnia turned lion (me), a ranger of the northlands turned wolf (Delphi) and a thief and pirate turned rat (Silver)) have been playing cat-and-mouse with the Clockworks, an alien race of...biomechanical parasites(?) who have invaded Krynn and taken over the world. We've been hunting and the hunted for quite some time, though we've mostly been getting our asses kicked. Such as life, and the small victories we've come across have been enough to keep us going. We've been thrown into an extraordinary situation with similarly extraordinary abilities, though we're still largely ordinary people. My character, Dah, for example, has been struggling to upkeep the laws of knighthood while traversing into territory completely alien to him, with his closest companions people who have no appreciation for the code. We've established a bond only people who have been through combat together could have, but the foundation is...almost non-existent. We've never even talked about the lives we've had before the Clockworks invaded.
The distance that our characters have from each other is one I find profoundly interesting (though I might be the only person :)), because we drink from the same flask and tend each other's wounds without a second thought, but we can't relate to the emotional/mental toll that our situation is placing on each of us. It's a really rich idea. I've never thought about how that might happen before.
I think the vague dissatisfaction with the game ultimately leads to the fact that I can't bring myself to play Dah the way I see him. He's this huge, monstrous, powerhouse of a character but mentally he's probably a lot softer than either Delphi's or Silver's characters. He was probably the most innocent of the three before Krynn fell to the Clockworks, and he's seeing all the standards and ideals he's believed in compromised or forgotten...and this is a process that he's succumbed to. He resents himself for it, doesn't feel himself worthy to uphold the name of his order, or to have all these...epic things placed upon him. I just don't see Dah as strong enough to take all this without some really deep and lasting damage.
I don't think I've been playing that effectively (mainly because I think it'd be a distraction from the story, and an annoyance to deal with for Delphi and Silver), so there's this sense of betrayal that I feel. Every time I crunch the numbers and see how sick-wicked powerful Dah has become (OK, yeah, it really is cool :D) I can't help but feel a twinge of guilt for it. The victories seem a little hollow because there's no heart to it. And I'm not sure whether that's my problem or if it should be brought up to the other players in general. Maybe if I write a story or two to correct the issue, I'd feel better...if I get time I'll try it, see how it goes.</lj-cut>
<lj-cut text="Sunday Shenanigans.">Saturday was spent recuperating from the game and missing all sorts of things that were going on...though I did have a pretty good time on-line (*winkwink to the longneck*). Sunday Prismo and 2's plans to go to Devil's Den were rained out, so I tagged along and went out to On The Mark and bowling with them and Joey.
I don't really consider myself a good bowler; I'm happy if I have a score in triple digits. I was fairly amazed, then, that I won 2 out of 3 games with a 122 and 110, respectively. The third game blew, I bowled a 68, and 2 pulled out a pretty decisive victory with a 126. Apparently, "speed bowling" doesn't agree with me nearly as well as it did him. Still, I had enough fun (and posted a decent enough showing) that I think bowling might replace mini-golf as my game of choice for the winter. :)
Came home and the good mood rapidly deteriorated. Computer stuff sapped my good will towards man rather quickly and I got cold-shouldered by a few more people, which turned me downright ornery. :) The trouble is, I care too much about being friendly with people, and I always take it personally when things don't work out for whatever reason. It's like someone else is validating all the worst things a little asshole is whispering at me inside my head. The worst part is, I know it's all trippy headstuff, I even know how to get out of it, but I don't. I probably won't be paging folks out of the blue for a while, but I am working at making myself more available to folks who want to talk. I think that might go a long way towards re-establishing a good equilibrium. Well, that and turning the talkers off for a second to concentrate on all the more productive things I could be doing. <:)</lj-cut>
Now, a bit of work and game with Lazarus tonight. I'm already in love with my character, though the world's still really fuzzy. Looking forward to it. :)