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Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit
Sep. 1st, 2023 10:33 amIt's the start of another month, so that means the start of another attempt at regular journaling. Some months have been better than others, but it's always a struggle to develop the habit -- especially when there's a significant disruption to my routine.
I've been at the day job for about a month now, and I'm starting to get comfortable with it. The blind panic that comes with being thrown into the deep end of a space you know nothing about has diminished, and I'm flailing a lot less because of it. It's a little easier for me to hunt down answers to questions I have now that...well, the framework of it makes sense to me.
It's been an interesting lesson in how I prefer to learn. If I had to do it over again, I would like a more top-down approach in order to see how the system is meant to work before diving down into the complicated inner-workings. Once I get a handle on the major parts of a system, it's a lot easier for me to tie the inner workings to something more tangible.
For example, one of the things we test for is air and surface contamination for cleanrooms and other controlled areas. Learning exactly HOW these places maintain clean air and surfaces would be a great thing to know in order to better understand how we test for it and what kind of mistakes we should be looking out for. That's a job in itself, I'll grant you. Like, the physics of air combine with pretty hard-core technical considerations so shit gets really complicated really fast.
Learning about the system *just* through the certification reports is...weird. The basic idea is to check the readings of the field technician and make sure the tests were performed according to the appropriate standard. But, as you might imagine, those standards often don't match up perfectly to real-world conditions. A technician might not provide supporting documentation, or might not be able to find a diagram map they need out in the field. A client might not be able to provide exact conditions for the test, so there's a certain amount of slack there as well. Ultimately the standards are just one consideration -- there's client satisfaction, the workload of the field technician, how soon the report needs to be finished, etc. etc. etc.
That means that almost every report will have some irregularities and the trick is figuring out which ones can be overlooked and which ones need to be handled. When the consequences for doing your job incorrectly is a cleanroom contamination that could make a lot of people sick or worse, the failure anxiety is so, so real.
If I knew how the system worked, it'd be a bit easier to grasp where my attention should be. Anxiety and ADHD combine in this really awful way where I don't know how to prioritize things so everything is TOP PRIORITY. It takes some time to push past that "oh no something's different FREAK OUT NOW" instinct.
But at last I'm finally there. The anxiety has receded to the point I don't feel the need to procrastinate on my workload until I'm chill enough to take a look at it, which definitely helps my productivity -- and my bandwidth for everything outside of work.
I spent most of August rediscovering long-form YouTube and playing FFXIV in my off-hours. After WoW and The Old Republic I never thought I'd get into another MMORPG but I've been pleasantly surprised by this one. First of all, the community is *so* helpful and welcoming it's hard not to be charmed by it. This is the first time in an MMO where I didn't feel a paralyzing anxiety about my performance in dungeons and such. Folks are really respectful and welcoming towards newbies, and the game itself does a good job of preparing you to be basically competent at your job before you hook up with others. The basic gameplay is...challenging, but the punishment for being sub-optimal is so much lower.
The story is also pretty fun. It makes you feel like a legit important part of the setting, as opposed to WoW where you're one of 11,000 shmucks collecting 10 wolf ears. It's a lot easier to achieve goals in FFXIV, too, so you're not killing 50 wolves hoping they'll drop an ear. And the story actually tackles things like wealth inequality, unsustainable living, and other things you wouldn't expect in a JRPG. When you're not running across the map to have short conversations with random folks (an unfortunate staple of any MMORPG), the world is such a fun place to spend time in.
I've had to cut myself off from Baldur's Gate 3 in order to catch up with K. and R., but now I'll have to ween myself from this game to get everything done. The wicked's work is never done.
I've been at the day job for about a month now, and I'm starting to get comfortable with it. The blind panic that comes with being thrown into the deep end of a space you know nothing about has diminished, and I'm flailing a lot less because of it. It's a little easier for me to hunt down answers to questions I have now that...well, the framework of it makes sense to me.
It's been an interesting lesson in how I prefer to learn. If I had to do it over again, I would like a more top-down approach in order to see how the system is meant to work before diving down into the complicated inner-workings. Once I get a handle on the major parts of a system, it's a lot easier for me to tie the inner workings to something more tangible.
For example, one of the things we test for is air and surface contamination for cleanrooms and other controlled areas. Learning exactly HOW these places maintain clean air and surfaces would be a great thing to know in order to better understand how we test for it and what kind of mistakes we should be looking out for. That's a job in itself, I'll grant you. Like, the physics of air combine with pretty hard-core technical considerations so shit gets really complicated really fast.
Learning about the system *just* through the certification reports is...weird. The basic idea is to check the readings of the field technician and make sure the tests were performed according to the appropriate standard. But, as you might imagine, those standards often don't match up perfectly to real-world conditions. A technician might not provide supporting documentation, or might not be able to find a diagram map they need out in the field. A client might not be able to provide exact conditions for the test, so there's a certain amount of slack there as well. Ultimately the standards are just one consideration -- there's client satisfaction, the workload of the field technician, how soon the report needs to be finished, etc. etc. etc.
That means that almost every report will have some irregularities and the trick is figuring out which ones can be overlooked and which ones need to be handled. When the consequences for doing your job incorrectly is a cleanroom contamination that could make a lot of people sick or worse, the failure anxiety is so, so real.
If I knew how the system worked, it'd be a bit easier to grasp where my attention should be. Anxiety and ADHD combine in this really awful way where I don't know how to prioritize things so everything is TOP PRIORITY. It takes some time to push past that "oh no something's different FREAK OUT NOW" instinct.
But at last I'm finally there. The anxiety has receded to the point I don't feel the need to procrastinate on my workload until I'm chill enough to take a look at it, which definitely helps my productivity -- and my bandwidth for everything outside of work.
I spent most of August rediscovering long-form YouTube and playing FFXIV in my off-hours. After WoW and The Old Republic I never thought I'd get into another MMORPG but I've been pleasantly surprised by this one. First of all, the community is *so* helpful and welcoming it's hard not to be charmed by it. This is the first time in an MMO where I didn't feel a paralyzing anxiety about my performance in dungeons and such. Folks are really respectful and welcoming towards newbies, and the game itself does a good job of preparing you to be basically competent at your job before you hook up with others. The basic gameplay is...challenging, but the punishment for being sub-optimal is so much lower.
The story is also pretty fun. It makes you feel like a legit important part of the setting, as opposed to WoW where you're one of 11,000 shmucks collecting 10 wolf ears. It's a lot easier to achieve goals in FFXIV, too, so you're not killing 50 wolves hoping they'll drop an ear. And the story actually tackles things like wealth inequality, unsustainable living, and other things you wouldn't expect in a JRPG. When you're not running across the map to have short conversations with random folks (an unfortunate staple of any MMORPG), the world is such a fun place to spend time in.
I've had to cut myself off from Baldur's Gate 3 in order to catch up with K. and R., but now I'll have to ween myself from this game to get everything done. The wicked's work is never done.
