jakebe: (Hmph!)
Weight Last Week: 190.7 pounds
Weight This Week: 190.6 pounds
Trending Change: -0.1 pounds
Avg. Calories/Day: 1678

All right, so I'm going to try to get back to being serious about watching my weight, exercising on a regular basis and eating food that's better for me. Hey, it's a new year and that's practically a tradition once you sleep off the blinding hangover. The difficulty with the concept, though, is that you really have to work to identify what you're going after. Losing weight is a pretty simple thing: you just burn more calories than you eat. Getting down to the particulars can be really tough, though. How many calories should I have if I want to maintain my current weight? That is so damned hard to figure out, and I'm still not sure I've got it right. The best thing I can think of to do is count my calories, collect data on weight, and see if I can establish some sort of correlation.

Anyway, that's what I'm posting up there. My weekly weights are measured on Sunday morning, but I really do weigh myself every day and enter it into the Hacker's Diet tracking website. It's a great little thing if I haven't recommended it already. It takes all the data you give it and stretches out a trend for you; the idea is that your weight will fluctuate from day to day, and the best way to establish a trend is to gather as much data as possible and see where it goes. Over time, your trend should start to go down as more and more data points get lower.

You can see that just starting to happen here, though not as much as I'd like. The weight for my trend up to January 1st was 190.7 pounds, and by the 8th it had slipped a tenth. At this rate I'll lose a pound every ten weeks, or five pounds a year. That's nowhere near quickly enough.

Still, the year is young and I only have nine points of data in my little graph! I'm going to stay the course for now just to see if around 1700 Calories per day is enough to get me to lose weight. By the end of the month, I should have a good idea of how my calorie count correlates to my weight, and judging by that and some basic math, I can come up with a hypothesis on a good maintenance count.

The exercise didn't quite get off to the start that I had hoped. I set myself a goal of running at least three times a week but I only managed two. As typically happens, the front of the week was pretty good but I ran out of willpower somewhere in the middle and just couldn't bring myself for that last, success-clinching run closer to the weekend. It didn't help that I'm working with a new stride (barefoot-style, baby!) that's insanely calf-intensive. My legs were very sore pretty much all of last week.

Getting back to exercise on a regular basis might be a difficult proposition this week. The end of it will be spent in a non-stop party setting, so going out for a run regardless of what's going on around me will be pretty difficult to do. The only thing I really should worry about is Saturday, with a planned two or three mile run, but if I get up early enough I should be able to spare an hour or so for it.

So there we are! The first week of the new year sees a really small drop for weight, and things will be hard to manage next week. Still, I'm hopeful I can minimize any damage out there. If you're going to be at the convention this weekend (you know which one) and you see me eating something that's terrible for me...leave me be. I know what I'm doing, and even if it's probably not good it won't make me feel better to be harangued about it! That being said, a gentle nudge to make better choices next time wouldn't hurt.
jakebe: (Default)
Weight: 192.2 lbs.

I really fell off with the exercise this week. Most of the reasons I could come up with for this are excuses, so I'll just say I got lazy and talked myself out of going. That's the problem with going to the gym, or counting on that for your exercise: there are so many reasons NOT to go that are much more immediately appealing. The payoff for dedication is something that happens by degrees, and not something you're likely to notice until you find yourself going down a notch on your belt one day. It's much more gratifying to sit home, watch something on TV, and eat something that'll make you feel better.

Anyway, so that's what I did. I'd love to find ways to make my lifestyle more active -- you know, like biking down to the neighborhood store to buy groceries, or maybe even to visit friends in Santa Clara -- but that's not always the most feasible thing. Actually, now that I think about it, there's no good reason why it shouldn't be. That's something I'll have to think about. I know Ryan might dig taking the bike to more places, especially if it means being able to drink a little more. :D That'll be something we need to work up to, though.

On the topic of incidentally active lifestyles, I've found a way to sneak in a mile-long walk through downtown San Jose, through creative scheduling of my mass transit commute home. Now, I take an earlier train, write while in transit, walk while listening to tunes and podcasts downtown, and arrive at the bus stop with a few minutes to spare before the 82 comes and takes me home. Once I'm on the bus, I read. It's a really nice trifecta that I've come to be quite fond of. It doesn't get me home any earlier, alas, but it's something!

The thing that sunk me with the diet last week was candy. I always think that I have a good grip on it, like I can just have a pack of it and stop, and be content with that. It's so not true. It is a well-established fact that a rabbit in possession of candy will be in want of more candy. And, between the Star Wars: Echoes RPG and playing KOTOR over the weekend, I went admittedly overboard.

I'm also having trouble cooking in consistently. Most of the time I start the week with a strong will; this is going to be the week I only get Specialty's once for breakfast and once for dinner. That gets sunk by mid-week; a combination of a late night (and the subsequent wanting to sleep in) and running out of supplies derails me, and I end up buying my food for two out of three meals. On the bright side, I stick to oatmeal or yogurt parfaits for breakfast, and soup or salad for lunch. It's expensive, but I eat fairly healthily.

Still, there's got to be a way to enjoy good and healthy food without having to pay through the nose for it. At this point, it might be best to just take it day by day, get a good food carrier (I'm frankly tired of carrying my lunch in a ghetto used supermarket bag) and work my way up to eating in most of the time. Exercise is more important, though, so I'll be focusing on trying to be consistent with that.
jakebe: (Default)
Biceps and Forearms

Incline DB Curls: 25 lbs.
Cable Curls: 40 lbs.
Preacher Curls: 30 lbs.
Reverse Curls: 30 lbs.
Hammer Curls: 17.5 lbs.
Arm Extension: 50 lbs.
Wrist Curls: 15/10 lbs.

The Arm Extensions are technically a triceps exercise, but Ryan had an abundance of energy he wanted to burn off yesterday. I have never seen him quite so motivated as last night, it was really good to see. :)


Running (Gym)
Time: 20 minutes
Distance: 1.505 miles
Top Speed: 4.8 mph
Top Incline: 7.0%
Calories: 219

After the weight training, we ran for a little bit. The gym treadmills continue the habit of absolutely murdering me every time I step foot on them. I could barely finish this 20-minute "Aerobic Training" jog. The incline was *definitely* killer. For most of the time I was jogging uphill at least 5%. If that doesn't sound like much to you, you try it and get back to me. ;) I haven't been keeping up with my running, though, so I wouldn't be surprised if I got it back after a few more sessions of this.


In general I've been focusing on weight training, and the results have been pretty good. My posture's better because my back is stronger, and my shirts fit a bit more snugly across my shoulders. :) I'm gaining an actual shape and such, which is surprisingly nice to see. I guess you never know how much you like something until you get it. :)

I've been joining Ryan for three workouts, mostly: chest and triceps, biceps and forearms, and back. I skip the leg workouts because, well, I run. :) Or at least I should be. I'm usually pretty tuckered after weight training and it's late enough that I tend to blow off the run more often than not.

With food, I've been handling that way better. I still have a sweet tooth, but it's definitely angled more towards fruits and lighter things than doughnuts and heavy pastries. It's gotten to the point where I can barely make it past a whole cupcake, and I can't remember the last time I've finished a whole slice of cake. Desserts are best served really small, though I can still devour my fair share of cookies if you give me enough time.

My weight's been hovering between 176 - 180 for a while now, and I don't think it's going to drop all that much. Fat's being replaced with muscle, though, so I don't mind that so much. Still, I'd love to get down to 165 and stay there for good.
jakebe: (Pride)
Weight This Week: 178.2

Time: 20 minutes
Distance: 1.92 miles
Top Speed: 6.5 mph
Calories: 217

Chest Press: 100 lbs.
Bent-Arm Cable Pulldown: 45 lbs.
Stomach Crunches: 30
Push-Ups: 26

My arms are still giving out before I can do my full set of push-ups. I don't really blame them, since I haven't really been doing this for about a month now. Starting today though, I'm going to shoot for going for a run every single day this week. That's a big reason why I've toned the time back to 20 minutes; if things go well, I should be able to ramp it back up to 30 minutes at least five days a week soon enough.

I was a giant pig during the month of September and the earlier part of October. I blame the wedding! :) Hopefully I'll be able to get back into the swing of healthier eating this week too.

Oh yes, I'll be putting my exercise posts up on a filter. Who wants in?
jakebe: (Default)
Weight This Week: 175.4 lbs.
Weight Last Week: 173.2 lbs.
Change: +2.2 lbs.

Time: 30 minutes
Distance: 3.02 miles
Top Speed: 6.5
Calories: 359

Chest Press: 100 lbs.
Bent Arm Cable Pulldown: 45 lbs.

I don't get this yo-yoing weight thing. I'm making gains with the running and I had a really good week with the diet, but it doesn't seem to have helped. I think I'll measure chest, waist, stomach, arms and thighs to see what the numbers come out to there; it could be that I've added muscle and lost fat, but I'm not so sure. Either way, it's a little frustrating. I feel great about the exercise, though, and my diet is getting better all the time.

I took a vow of silence yesterday, the first one I've tried in several years. I could only manage for a day, because, well, there's too much else going on for me to do it much longer, but I learned a few things in the relatively short amount of time I was quiet.

It drove poor Ryan crazy. :D That was an expected effect of the experiment, though. I knew it would be rough on him, because we're so used to talking to each other, sharing opinions, helping each other out with our bad memory, offering general input. One of the things this underscored is how much we really do talk to each other, and seek one another out for things, how much we've come to rely on one another for that feedback. It was honestly a worry of mine, that we didn't talk or communicate very well, but those fears have been put to bed; there's always work that can be done, but...I'm a lot more appreciative of what we have.

That being said, things are a lot better when you don't complain about them. :D I've made a lot of progress here, too, but there are times where I can still voice my displeasure a lot, and this got me to think about my reasons why; a friend of mine told me that most of the time we speak it's because we're trying to get something we want, and I've found this to be embarrassingly true for me. When I'm griping, even if I say it's just to vent, it's because I want something: either validation or sympathy, or for someone to do something about my situation. Without that crutch, without that hope that maybe if I speak up I'll get what I want, I found myself far more accepting of things I wouldn't have picked myself. Almost everything was more enjoyable because of this one thing.

This probably doesn't mean that I'll stop complaining. It does mean that I'll complain a lot less; before I gripe, I'll have to honestly consider my reasons for doing so, and the consequences of it. Does this thing really matter enough that I have devote energy into expressing how I'd rather be doing something else? Most of the time, it honestly doesn't.

In general, there's a tendency to fill our lives with noise as distraction from what's really going on around us. Even when there's no radio or iPod or television to provide a running commentary for us when conversation won't do, we block out things with constant mental chatter. We often see and hear the things around us, but it feels very rare that we're actually paying attention. Going silent, even for a day, reminded me of how much more effort I could be putting into the act of observation. There are, of course, less extreme ways for me to realize this, and I think I'll have to play around with ways to make sure I 'listen twice as much as I speak,' to use the expression.

Weekends

Aug. 24th, 2008 06:40 pm
jakebe: (Pride)
Weight This Week: 173.2 lbs.
Weight Last Week: 175.0 lbs.
Change: -1.8 lbs.

Time: 11 minutes
Distance: 1.02 miles
Top Speed: 6.5
Calories: 121

Chest Press: 100 lbs.
Bent Arm Cable Pulldown: 45 lbs.
Stomach Crunches: 30
Push-Ups: 25

I've lost three pounds in two weeks, but I don't really trust the readings. 173 lbs. is still within my 'normal' range, so I won't be convinced that I'm getting the weight loss thing down until I start flirting with 165. Nonetheless, I'm continuing to make gains with weight training, even though since I've upped the exercises my arms give out before I can hit 30 push-ups.

I couldn't make thirty minutes today because I started wheezing way too early on the treadmill, and it felt like my chest was tightening up. It was kind of alarming, to be honest. I'm pretty sure it's dehydration; I've had scads of coffee and alcohol this weekend, without much water. Woops. ;) I really need to get to the point where I'm OK drinking water from the tap; I've gotten spoiled on free bottled water from Adobe.

Elsewhere this weekend I've been really productive. I took my college placement tests on Saturday and did pretty well on those, though this is community college we're talking about. The math test kicked my ass a little bit (but I've rediscovered the joy of algebra and trigonometry, hooray!), but apparently I did well enough that I can take any beginner's math course I want.

I registered for English Composition IA, which is the highest beginner's course they have. I'll need to make an appointment with a counselor this week, though, to explain my situation and see if I *need* to transfer my credits over from St. Mary's. The way I see it, I would rather have a fresh start at secondary schooling, and I'd like to not mess with all that business unless I have to. If I can get away with it, I'd gladly take English Comp I over again; I don't mind taking the refresher course to get me back into fighting shape, as it were.

One thing this has re-awakened in me (in a hurry, I might add), is that perfectionist tendency, that desire to do extremely well. I scored a 97, 90, and 87 on my three English tests and I was *disappointed*. I miss that. :) I know I can do better, and I like pushing myself. I just forgot I did.

Went to the comic book shop and dropped a lot of money in celebration; Illusive Comics, my local store of choice, went from being "OK" to "Fantastic" because of their sale, their owner, and the fact that they gave me a...beverage...when I asked for one. If you're local and you're into comics, I recommend these guys. They're in Santa Clara on El Camino Royale, right next to Amal's Juicy Burger.

Comic reviews will be coming again in the next day or two.

Stats!

Aug. 17th, 2008 09:40 pm
jakebe: (Silly)
Weight This Week: 175.0 lbs.
Weight Last Week: 176.4 lbs.
Change: -1.4 lbs.

Time: 30 minutes
Distance: 3.00 miles
Top Speed: 6.5 mph
Calories: 357

Chest Press: 100 lbs.
Bent Arm Cable Pulldown: 45 lbs
Stomach Crunches: 30
Push-Ups: 20
jakebe: (Comfort)
Weight This Week: 176.4 lbs
Weight Last Week: 173.6 lbs.
Change: +2.8 lbs.

Chest Press: 100 lbs.
Bent-Arm Cable Pulldown: 45 lbs.
Stomach Crunches: 30

Time: 15 minutes
Distance: ??
Top Speed: ??
Calories: ??

We have two treadmills at our apartment's small fitness center, and one of them (my favorite) was broken. There was a line for the other one on Monday, so I decided to try my hand at running off the treadmill. I was able to go for around half of the route (which is a pretty big block) before I was winded and had to revert to walking. So I walked, ran for a little bit longer and just couldn't get my breath back. I stopped after one walk around the block.

Not sure what happened there. [livejournal.com profile] toob says it's likely because I was running faster than I was on the treadmill, which I'll buy, but I tried taking special care to pace myself. I was interested in lasting the whole 30 minutes, after all. I'll definitely have to try again sometime soon.

The weight went up because I ate *so* poorly last week. It was my birthday week, though, so no regrets. I'm really paying attention to what I'm eating now, though.

For the past few nights I've had pretty vivid dreams. Monday, I dreamed that really had to go to the bathroom while the Pledge of Allegiance was being recited at a public event. I knew it was considered the highest insult to leave the room while the Pledge was being said, but I wasn't about to pee myself so I left. After that, during a Q and A session with Barack Obama, the presidential candidate himself called me out for a lack of patriotism. I shot back with the charge that it's ridiculous to expect someone to pee their pants all in the name of love of country. This made him look bad, so he punished me by making me his personal assistant for the day.

The rest of the dream is a bit of a blur, but it ended with us going to this Japanese restaurant, where the kitchen was upstairs in a private space. There was this team of three old men, one making soup, the other making rice, and the other manning the meat and vegetables. I learned how to make egg drop soup, which turned out to be pretty interesting. Barack was making snide comments about my competence the entire time.

Yeah, I don't know what the hell either.

The second dream, on Tuesday, was about our wedding. For some reason Ryan and I decided to have it in the middle of the woods, and the guy who was supposed to drive us to the location ([livejournal.com profile] harlkyn; sorry, this is no reflection on what I think of you) was paid off to drop us in the wrong place, where we would then be tortured and then killed. In the dream, I was simultaneously trying to survive the experience and redramatizing it for a horror movie/documentary. Apparently I had this mega-whoopus scene at the end where I'm in leather and I hold up my fist at night, in the rain.

That last bit was awfully embarrassing to admit, come to think of it.

Last night I dreamed about this neighborhood of ghetto shops. Think Santana Row or downtown Eureka Springs, only with chicken joints, liquor stores and run-down pharmacies. I was getting hair extensions so I could have braids, and while we went to a bookstore some disease broke out that killed 80% of anyone it infected. 5% were immune, and the other 15% became zombies.

I forced myself to wake up after I started to be chased; I just decided the dream had become too frightening, and I wasn't having any of it. In hindsight, I'm pretty glad I woke up when I did.

I'm not sure what this all points to. I could be my subconscious jazzing around, or there could be some anxiety about various things playing themselves out. I usually don't remember my dreams this vividly, but I'm really glad my brain is finally letting me in on what it does with itself while my body isn't keeping it occupied.
jakebe: (Work)
Weight This Week: 173.6 lbs.
Weight Last Week: 174.0 lbs.
Change: -0.4 lbs.

Chest Press: 80 lbs.
Bent Arm Cable Pulldown: 45 lbs.
Stomach Crunches: 36
Push-Ups: 36

Time: 30 minutes
Distance: 2.84 miles
Top Speed: 6.2 mph
Calories: 330

Weight is, alas, holding steady. I've been measuring myself for the past two weeks, though, and there've been modest gains in all the right places. I'm still working on getting my diet in order, but there's progress there, too.

Had lunch with [livejournal.com profile] andreal, [livejournal.com profile] toob and [livejournal.com profile] mut at Chili's, and Andreal was good enough to make a point of making sure there were meatless options there. Thanks, because I was all ready to get my beef on. Srsly. :)

It's been a relatively quiet weekend. We watched City Lights and Eastern Promises, Mat and I got together a few folks for a birthday dinner and after-dinner drinks, and we've been working our way through season 4 of The Sopranos. Season 3 wasn't so great (in fact, some of the episodes were downright awkward), but this season has been back on form in a big way. One of the excellent things about the show is how it portrays these very awful people in such a complex and sympathetic way. Even psychopathic murderers care about something, right? It doesn't ever excuse what they do, but it gives you an idea of what goes through their heads when all the crap goes down. I'd never, ever want to be friends with Tony Soprano, but I feel for him.

Now, it's on to laundry.
jakebe: (Optimism)
Weight This Week: 174.0 lbs
Weight Last Week: 173.0 lbs.
Change: +1.0 lbs.

Time: 29 minutes
Distance: 2.76 miles
Top Speed: 6.3 mph
Calories: 291
jakebe: (Optimism)
Weight This Week: 173.0 lbs.
Weight Last Week: 174.0 lbs.
Change: -1.0 lbs.

Time: 23 minutes
Distance: 2.12 miles
Top Speed: 6.2 mph
Calories: 221

Chest Press: 80 lbs.
Bent Arm Cable Pulldown: 45 lbs.
Stomach Crunches: 30
Push-Ups: 30

I'm noticing that some of my shirts are getting tight around the shoulders and upper arms, and that my arms are definitely getting thicker. This pleases me. ;) However, I still have the stomach! I realize it's like finding the Holy Grail to have a flat stomach, but it is something I'm still aiming for.

I've been relatively silent on the whole marriage thing, mostly because I wasn't sure if things would pan out. It looks like things are far enough along to where I can state the date and plans with confidence.

So, [livejournal.com profile] toob and I will be getting married on Saturday, September 27th, 2008 at the San Jose State University Chapel. Afterwards there will be a potluck barbecue/reception at the barbecue pits outdoors; in lieu of presents we ask that anyone who plans to attend bring a dish to share with everyone! Since they won't let us serve alcohol at the barbecue, the plan is to invade a Dave and Buster's in the evening afterwards. I'm looking into their policy for large groups, and hopefully will be able to give details about possible cost soon.

You folks in Arkansas, yes, it's safe to assume you're invited. :) I'd like to tell you now so you can save up for airfare and hotel cost. Unfortunately, we won't be able to put anyone up, but there's inexpensive lodging near both our place and (hopefully) the University.

Now that the day is nearly here I'm getting more and more excited, and more nervous. We're aiming for a relatively modest service and it still feels like we're in over our heads. I can't imagine what it would be like to do something ostentatious; I can totally understand how a relatively level-headed woman can turn into a complete Bridezilla now. ;)
jakebe: (Silly)
Weight This Week: 174.8 lbs.
Weight Last Week: 174.0 lbs.
Change: +0.8 lbs.

Time: 28 minutes
Distance: 2.60 miles
Top Speed: 6.2 mph
Calories: 272

So I've added four pounds in two weeks. I really have no way of telling whether that's muscle or fat, but I kind of suspect it's the latter. I haven't been watching what I eat nearly as closely as I should. It's a bit of a conundrum; I love food, but I'm often too busy to really think about my meals, so I'll just grab what's easy and available. Even in California, it's a lot easier to get stuff that's bad for you than otherwise. Of course, this is blaming the system for a personal choice, so I'll just shut up and be more diligent.

On a brighter note, the exercise continues to improve. I'm still taking it slow, just adding a minute of running a week, but my legs aren't sore at all so far, and I'm not terribly winded after any workout. I even have a bit of a shape to my arms! Hooray. :D

Saw Bambi for the first time this weekend. It's a really good film; unbearably, eye-bleedingly cute for much of it, but not too bad otherwise. Though now, really, I ought to have a Thumper icon from the second half of the movie; he's way cuter once he grows up. That might be a bit biased though.
jakebe: (Memes)
Weight This Week: 174.0 lbs.
Weight Last Week: 170.2 lbs.
Change: +3.8 lbs.

Time: 27 minutes
Distance: 2.50 miles
Top Speed: 6.2 mph
Calories: 260

Continuing to work my way back into fighting shape. :) I'd like to say the weight gain was all muscle (Rar!), but I haven't been eating the best. This week I'm really going to try and focus on my diet. I'll try to stick to lean meats, healthy meals, reasonable snacks, and away from little 'treats' that deep-six any good eating choices I've made. I have a fondness for indulging in a chocolate or two during a particularly rough day, or having a couple of slices of bacon with breakfast.

In other news, yes, this is a very adequate representation of how I roll. It's a wonder [livejournal.com profile] toob puts up with me sometimes.

Your result for The Attachment Style Test...

The Waffler

44% Anxiety Over Abandonment and 38% Avoidance Of Intimacy


You're not the most decisive person. You tend to be unsure what you want out of your attachments, and it's unlikely you've had more than mediocre relationships. You vacillate between trust and mistrust, and between low and high self-esteem. You probably have a couple of good friends who support you and believe in you, but you tend not to let things get too heavy. You like to sit on fences.



Fictional character with whom you might identify: Xander (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Amelie (Amelie)



XanderHarris.jpg Amelie.jpg




Other Attachment Types:
Secure: The Unicorn | The Cuddleslut | The Free Agent
Preoccupied: The Cling Wrap | The Squid | The Insect
Fearful: The Doormat | The Leper | The Exile
Dismissing: The Hermit | The Stone | The Player
Confused: The Waffler

Take The Attachment Style Test at HelloQuizzy

jakebe: (Accomplishment)
Weight This Week: 170.2 lbs.
Weight Last Week: 172.4 lbs.
Change: -2.2 lbs.

Chest Press: 80 lbs.
Cable Pulldown: 30 lbs.
Stomach Crunches: 30
Push-Ups: 26

Time: 26 minutes
Distance: 2.37 miles
Top Speed: 6.1 mph
Calories: 245

I couldn't finish my push-ups, which bummed me out just a little; however, I'm starting to show a bit of definition in the arms which kind of made up for it. :) I'm so vain.

I've been working on poems and a few other things that aren't ready to show. There are so many ideas I'd like to try I'm starting to worry about spreading myself too thin for things. I really should slow down, perhaps, make sure that what I am working on I'm doing as well as possible.

We didn't make AnthroCon, obviously, so we used the opportunity to visit friends instead. Went to a great Thai place in Sunnyvale yesterday evening called Thai Pepper with [livejournal.com profile] malinandrolo. Holy cats, that place is excellent. :9 There's a hot, sour, spicy soup with coconut milk and chicken that's just the other side of fantastic, it was some of the best soup ever. We also had cashew chicken, yellow curry with tofu and pineapple fried rice. All very reasonable, with wonderful Thai coffee. :9

Malin supplied us with numerous amusing anecdotes, and Rolo's sense of humor was as dry and sharp as always. Afterwards we went to see Wall-E, which was about as fantastic as everyone says it is. My favorite's still The Incredibles, but this is a really solid entry.

Today we hung with [livejournal.com profile] andreal and [livejournal.com profile] tealfox, played a few games and watched Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. If you haven't seen this vastly underrated little gem with Val Kilmer and Robert Downey Jr, I highly recommend it. It's supremely awesome. [livejournal.com profile] belly4you, I *know* you would love it. :)

I am way behind on calling people, so sorry; if you've called me in the last two months or so, I'm really sorry, and I have no excuse at all, and I'm dirt and scum and a poor friend. Please accept my wholehearted apologies and let me try to make it up to you sometime by this weekend.

Next up, the four day work week! Whoohoo!
jakebe: (Thoughtful)
Weight: 172.4 lbs.
Last Measurement: 169.6 lbs.
Change: +2.8 lbs.

Time: 25 minutes
Distance: 2.29 miles
Top Speed: 6.2 mph
Calories: 238

Chest Press: 60 lbs. x3
Bent Arm Pulldown: 30 lbs. x3
Push-Ups: 30
Crunches: 30

And now, a poem. )

Not really good, actually. I wanted to do something a bit more in the moment, but then it jumped the rails and became this instead.
jakebe: (Default)
Weight: 169.6 lbs.
Time: 25 minutes
Distance: 2.27 miles
Top Speed: 6.2 mph
Calories: 234

There will be a more substantial post sometime soon. For now, there are still a few things to do yet before bed.
jakebe: (Hope)
Weight This Week: 171.0
Weight Last Week: 169.8 lbs.
Change: +1.2 lbs.

Time: 35 minutes
Distance: 3.35 miles
Top Speed: 6.7 mph
Calories: 351

Chest Press: 80 lbs.
Bent Arm Pulldown: 45 lbs.
Crunches: 30
Push-Ups: 30

First of all, congratulations to [livejournal.com profile] belly4you for graduating from the University of Arkansas! You've worked really hard for this, and I'm really proud that you've managed to push through the crappy system and everything else that's stood in your way. I only wish I could have been there to tell you this in person. You rock, sista. :D

I know so many great people. People who are driven and eloquent and wise, and full of wonder and questions, who are never content to live an unexamined life. Every one of you, in your own way, encourages me to keep moving and pushing and trying to grow. I'm really grateful for all of you right now.

Haven't called my mother yet, or dad. Or Crystal, or Daro, or any number of people I haven't talked to in a long time. I really miss all of you guys. Thank you for continuing to be patient with my flakiness and flightiness, my awkwardness, my insecurities, and everything.

I'm feeling a lot better, despite everything. There's the constant worry that I'm not a good enough friend, but what can I do...but be a better friend? :) If you get random pings from me before I have to dash off to do something else, just chalk it up to me trying in my own weird scatter-brained way.
jakebe: (Thoughtful)
Weight This Week: 169.8 lbs.
Weight 2 Weeks Ago: 169.2 lbs.
Change: +0.6 lbs.

Time: 34 minutes
Distance: 3.26 miles
Top Speed: 6.7 mph
Calories: 342

Chest Press: 80 lbs.
Bent Arm Pulldown: 45 lbs.
Push-Ups: 30
Crunches: 30

I've hit a bit of a rough patch, all things considered. The death of [livejournal.com profile] toob's rat Lily put all sorts of notions in my head, and it's been tough to shake them. I always think I'm a little bit more comfortable with the notion of loss and death and ending than I was before until I face it head-on, and then a lot of things I thought I had resolved come rushing back.

It doesn't help that the news reports are all doom and gloom these days. Oil prices are continually on the rise, hitting record peaks week after week for months now...and this is even before our peak driving season. It struck me that between rampant heating use in the winter and air conditioning and driving use in the summer, we're always using oil for some reason year round. We're always paying more, whether it's through our home heating bill or gas for our car, or electricity for fans or AC. We never take a break, really.

I do believe that the Oil Peak has been hit, and the gap between supply and demand will continually grow uncomfortably close until one day we'll hit a deficit that we won't be able to recover from. That day is frighteningly close: even the most optimistic estimates puts the date sometime around 2010. After that, one way or another, our way of life will change drastically.

I'm relatively optimistic. I don't think this means the end of the world or civilization, necessarily, but it does mean living a lot harder than we're used to. A lot of people don't relish the idea, but it's well past time we stopped being so excessive and mindless with what we consume. If we had committed to that, say, eight years ago, we'd be a lot better off today. It's a hard pill to swallow to think about how much different the world would be if Gore were President, instead of Bush.

Last Sunday my mother told me that she had Parkinson's Disease, and had been suffering from it for over 30 years. This was devastating for me; so many childhood memories gained a new clarity, and the tangled knot of guilt I had been saving for just such an occasion came in handy. I'm still working through that, but I have a better handle on it than I did a week ago.

I haven't been very talkative here, mostly because I've been trying to focus on doing instead of talking. It hasn't always worked, but as always, there's progress. My mood keeps going up and coming down more than usual, so on any given day I'm happy, almost beatific, and then angry for no apparent reason, then incredibly sad, and then just tired and amused at myself. It's been a long time since I've felt this...closed inward. Depression has a way of doing that; any external stimulus you get just gets absorbed into your own personal world, all experiences become warped and filtered through an internal lens. I feel myself going that way sometimes, but thankfully I have so many people who can pull my head out of my own ass if it gets too far in. :)

Besides work, there's been the writing group, my biweekly Dungeons and Dragons game, weekly Poker Nights, and other things here and there keeping me busy. [livejournal.com profile] mut, [livejournal.com profile] toob and I have been watching season three of Battlestar Galactica religiously (that is, when Mat isn't off gallavanting about Europe), and there's also Oz, Supernatural, Reaper, Lost and other things. The summer movie season is ramping up as well, so we'll be seeing a movie a week in theatres from now until August, roughly. Hopefully, this'll make a good excuse to revive [livejournal.com profile] 2guysreviews.

Oh yes, and somewhere in there was National Poetry Writing Month. It wasn't easy, but I wrote 30 poems in 30 days.

So that's what I've been up to. How's everyone else doing?
jakebe: (Default)
Weight This Week: 169.2 lbs.
Weight Last Week: 167.8 lbs.
Change: +1.4 lbs.

Time: 33 minutes
Distance: 3.16 miles
Top Speed: 6.6 mph
Calories: 334

Chest Press: 80 lbs.
Bent Arm Cable Pulldown: 45 lbs. x25
Push-Ups: 19
Stomach Crunches: 20

[livejournal.com profile] toob schooled me on proper form with the push-ups and crunches, and lo and behold my numbers went down. :)

Missed two days last week because my mood kind of bottomed out; I'll try and talk about that later. This session was a little hard because of that, especially when I kicked it up to top speed. Also, as usual, I'm not drinking enough water. Still, the distance is creeping up bit by bit, which I'm immensely pleased of.

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