jakebe: (Writing)

The biggest takeaway from my week of Infomagical is the seriously wonderful idea of narrowing my focus to one or two things and working on them until they're done. I have a bad habit of saying yes to everything, of getting excited about so many projects and/or collaborations that it becomes really difficult to keep track of everything -- let alone actually make time for things.

As part of the process of setting my priority, I thought I'd make a quick note of the projects I'm currently actively working on and where they sit on my to-do list. Of course, I'd appreciate any feedback you have to offer on this list. Do one of these projects excite you more than the others? Think I should be working on x instead of y? Let me know.

This is geared towards making sure I actually finish and submit most of these things somewhere -- either to professional print/online publications; here at The Writing Desk; or for free public viewing at Furry Network or SoFurry.

The Cult of Maximus
This is the big one: the first project for the Jackalope Serial Company has been a bumpy one so far, and I've only managed to post thirteen parts in the first 24 weeks of the year. Making sure I make good on my promise to post weekly installments of this story until it's done is my top priority. That means putting more work into plotting out the story, making sure I have a good handle on the settings and really solidifying how the supernatural elements of the world work. More than that, I really want to double back and edit previous chapters to "smarten" them up for posting elsewhere.

By the way, this doubles as a reminder that I have a Patreon for erotic serial stories. They feature M/M content, muscle growth, giants and some violent content. If you're interested, go here to sign up!

The Writing Desk
I definitely want to make sure that this blog is updated at least three times a week, and I've been managing a good pace with that so far. Really, it's just a matter of making sure I have ideas for articles ready to go when there isn't anything more pressing to talk about, and doing my best to keep up with Friday Fiction. That's the feature I'm most excited about here, even if it ends up being my least-read post most weeks. Hopefully, as I get better at flash fiction, that will change.

Short Stories
I would really love to write and submit short stories to all kinds of publications -- there is a booming market for POC voices in science-fiction and fantasy, and I think that I have a unique perspective and voice to contribute to that conversation. Right now, I think writing stories to their completion, workshopping and editing them, then putting up polished work online is my best play -- but there are still places I would love to submit to. For the time being, working through commissions and requests is the priority here. "A Stable Love" is draft-complete, but needs an edit; and the poor fellow who won my short story prize during last year's Write-A-Thon is *still* waiting for even a draft. It's time to get my shit together here.

New Fables
Admittedly, I feel a little guilty about this being so low on the list. If you haven't heard of New Fables, it's a wonderful annual publication that features anthropomorphic characters helping us understand the human condition a little bit better. The last issue was published in 2012, and the process of putting up the next one has been filled with stops and starts. It is *well* past time I get on the stick about doing the necessaries to get this next issue published. After that, the plan for the future of the title needs to be solidified.

Pathfinder
I ran a Pathfinder game for several friends some time ago; due to the fact that I had much less idea what I was doing with the system than I thought I did and the fact that I needed to actually plot ahead a lot more than I did, it's been on hiatus for a little while. However, we're getting the band back together on July 30th; that means I have a ticking clock to revamp characters and plot out the next phase of the story. There's certainly work to do, and it can't be underestimated.

There are, of course, a lot of other projects, but these are the five that I will be working on now. I consider my plate full, and just about everything else will have to wait until I'm done with these.

Keep your fingers crossed for me, folks -- here's to hoping that the focus remains tight until I've got a handle on these projects...

jakebe: (Writing)

I LOVE the rhythms of episodic storytelling. There's the anticipation of setting the scene, the cold open that makes the play for your attention and emotional investment right away, and the momentum that builds through a number of scenes, action set-pieces or conversations that build to a climax that ties the entire episode together through theme, action or consequence. And, of course, the final scene or image that teases the fallout from what's just occurred so you just have to know what's going to happen in the next installment.

Like most of the rabbits in my generation, I grew up learning the ebb and flow of these kinds of stories. Each episode broken up into three or more acts; each act fulfilling a purpose that is necessitated by the act that follows; each scene establishing or deepening character motivations, developments and setting in order to provide the biggest payoff for what's coming at the end of the episode, the run of the season, or an entire series. I've always been fascinated by the trick of keeping forward momentum, of knowing where to place the scenes that slow things down to keep things from moving too fast, of mastering the speed you move through plot so that turns are sharp but not derailing.

The best TV shows and comic books know how to work within the limitations of their allotted space and format, even turning these restraints into features that enhance the storytelling. Say what you want about LOST and Battlestar Galactica, but at the height of their stories there was almost nothing better. Each week -- each commercial break -- was an interminable gulf through which you had to wade in order to learn how the story ends.

Great episodic storytelling is as much about building anticipation as it is rewarding it with satisfying the wait. I love shows and comics that can pull me into the story so deeply that I'm completely immersed in it while I'm there and I totally forget that it's set to end until, suddenly, it does -- and then I have to think about how everything that's happened will lead to even more intense consequences for the characters and the world they live in. It's such a sweet agony. I love feeling that anticipatory, excited impatience.

This is something that I'd love to learn how to cultivate with the Jackalope Serial Company. The first serial, THE CULT OF MAXIMUS, features a pair of police officers caught up in an investigation that uncovers -- what else? -- something that's been lurking in the shadows of their city for some time. The more they uncover, of course, the weirder things get...and the more the protagonists are irrevocably changed by their experience.

The premise is to submit an "episode" of 1,500 - 2,500 words each week, with four or five episodes bundled together to make up a distinct 'chapter' of the story. Committing myself to that kind of deadline has been all kinds of educational for me; it's helped me to learn exactly what kind of space there is in that word count, how each scene needs to pull its weight within the limits of that format, and how to build momentum in a story arc while maintaining interest in what's happening right there and then. The demands of episodic storytelling are surprisingly varied and strict, and I don't think I really understood just how good you have to be at managing the pacing of the story until I started doing it.

It's interesting to find myself developing a whole new appreciation for the craft by attempting a version of it myself, and I'm glad to talk about it -- even if that means it might not be the best commercial for the Jackalope Serial Company itself. Even still, I'm glad that I'm realizing what I am and that the lessons I'm learning through the experience are being applied to the story in real time. As I write each part and move through the outline, I'm finding that my grasp of character, dialogue, plot and momentum grows steadily more sure. I'm a fair bit away from being a really GOOD storyteller, but the enthusiasm I have for the story and the craft involved in telling it is pulling me through this first little bit. I'd like to think that that translates into an enjoyable tale that has its flaws but is worth the time regardless, but we'll have to see. I do think it's getting better all the time, which is the most important thing.

In the meantime, looking at the television shows that I've been really impressed by and trying to reverse-engineer them to see how they work has become a favorite pastime. How *does* Daredevil manage to explore its main themes without feeling like it wallows in them? How does Breaking Bad put its protagonist through such a clear arc from season to season? How does Battlestar Galactica tell such a sprawling, epic story while still keeping itself grounded in these flawed and fascinating characters? And how can I use those lessons to inform my own writing? This is all wonderful stuff to think about -- but it's even better to talk about.

What are your favorite episodic stories, and what lessons of writing have you taken from them?

jakebe: (Self-Improvement)
The past couple of months have been marked by the death of various tech around the burrow and the attempts to replace them. Now that Bigwig (my desktop) and Hazel-rah (the new laptop) are settled for a while, I can get back to the business of writing and I'm tremendously excited about that.
Hazel-rah is a Dell Inspiron 7559 15", and it is a beautiful thing -- it's got a 4K HD touchscreen, Intel i7 Core chip, 16G of RAM and a 1TB HDD. The resolution is so high that it actually doesn't know what to do with some apps or windows where things tend to be small, like my digital Pomodoro timer or the note cards for my Scrivener app but that's OK. We're still feeling each other out. I wrote on the laptop most of yesterday, and really loved the experience; I'm getting used to the international keyboard design, which means becoming more precise with touch-typing. That's never a bad thing, right?
Speaking of writing, here is what I'm working on: building a buffer for the Jackalope Serial Company, starting one long-overdue commission (the prize winner of a fundraising contest for last year's Clarion Write-A-Thon), editing another long-overdue commission, pre-writing another serial project being written in a shared universe (*really* excited about that!), and brainstorming ideas for submissions to People of Color Destroy Fantasy! and the Black Power POC Superhero anthologies. I'm hoping that I can write three short stories by the end of June while making good progress on the edit for a fourth, all while keeping up with the Patreon and the blog. That's why I've scheduled ten hours of writing a week!
In addition to that, I've been forced to learn better time management and organization techniques through work and I am ever-grateful for that. Learning how to juggle multiple responsibilities is not something I've ever been very good at, but what the crunch time at the day job has taught me is how to go into each day with eyes open about how things are likely to go and what needs to be accomplished in spite of that. I may not hit the mark every time, but I get a lot closer than I used to and that's entirely a bonus effect of work craziness. Thanks, day job!
This weekend will be The Overnight, a 16-mile moonlight walk through San Francisco to raise awareness for suicide prevention and mental health issues. I'm tremendously excited to be taking part in this, and extremely proud of the money I've raised so far -- $1,708.00. I didn't think I would be able to do this well, and I am very grateful to everyone who's donated so generously already. If you would like to help me bring more attention to this very important issue, please head on over to my Participants' page and make a donation. Any amount helps, and I would love to raise as much as I can for this.
In order to make sure I was prepared for The Overnight, I've really stepped up my running game. Over the past two weeks I've run at least three times -- short ones (two or three miles) at reasonably easy paces (only 12 minutes per mile) but for me the most important thing is consistency, which I think I'm learning to develop! So that's excellent. My diet is still a little shaky, but I've been taking strides towards eating better. More fruits, vegetables and fiber, fewer candies, carbs and fat. Hopefully this will translate into less of a pear shape, but even if it doesn't that's OK. I like what I eat and how much I move now, and hopefully I'll get to continue on that path.
I think that's it for me this fortnight: writing, time management, Overnight preparation. What projects are you folks working on? What do you hope to have done by the beginning of next month?
If you'd like to donate to the Overnight, please go to my participant's page here: http://theovernight.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&participantID=18579
And if you would like to hit up my Patreon, which features serialized adult anthropomorphic fiction, go here: https://www.patreon.com/jakebeserials?ty=h.
jakebe: (Self-Improvement)

I thought that 2016 was going to be different. With the launch of the Jackalope Serial Company and a host of opportunities for this little black geek to write stories for anthologies specifically for him, I had prepared for a big focus on storytelling. Now we're entering the middle third of the year, and the JSC is sputtering along, I've still only finished two short stories and I've had to take frequent breaks to manage other things that are going on.

All of the reasons have been well documented here, of course. I've changed positions at my day job, and that required a lot of training and focus; at the same time, the company I work for is undergoing a massive upheaval that means it's next to impossible to get settled, so there isn't a solid foundation for me to dig into. I've worked pretty hard to succeed in those conditions, and I'm getting to a point where I'm doing all right. But lofty goals for extracurricular activities had to be pulled back or scrapped entirely.

I've also had to learn a lot about how I'm interacting with the world and the various communities I inhabit; the climate of our society has become so aggressive and uncompromising and it's easy to be swept along in that current if you let yourself. I didn't like the conclusions or consequences that I was being lead to, and I had to pull back to reorient myself towards the truths I've gleaned from my own experience. That means pulling back, reflecting on my experience, and observing how others act on theirs for insight, connection and understanding. It's been a fruitful process, and I feel much more solid on my beliefs, why I hold them and understanding why people believe and act the way they do.

That's not to say that I have all of the answers -- of course I don't. I don't know any more than you do. But I'm a lot more comfortable with where I stand on my path and I feel more confident about the direction I'm going. I've made choices to stop, reorient and refocus, and what's left is acting on that knowledge to see where it leads me.

The Jackalope Serial Company will fire up again this week with chapter 3 of THE CULT OF MAXIMUS. I've set down an outline for the rest of the story, and it's allowed me to know what's really important character-wise as well as work out the kinks of plotting and purpose. The first two chapters felt...exploratory by comparison, and while that can be fun for exercises it's really not that great in serialized fiction. It's important to establish a sense of momentum, the idea that the story is leading somewhere, that there is acceleration, waystations, the whole bit. The serial has that baked in a bit more now, and I've learned from the bad start.

I'm working on editing "Stable Love" so I can finally clear that off my plate; then there's the People of Color Destroy Horror! story that I'd like to submit by the middle of the month. There is the Clarion Write-A-Thon prize that I still owe to a good friend, and right after that I'll set to work on my People of Color Destroy Fantasy! short story. I'm also working on a collaborative project that I'm quite excited about; I was nearly done with the outline there, but a few revelations about antagonists and character-building have encouraged me to take another look at it. There is a black superheroes anthology that I would love to submit a story for, a contest for transformation and mind-control stories that I think I'd like to submit something for, and online-only stories that I want to publish at least once a quarter.

My ambition to publish short stories hasn't diminished at all this year, even with the bumps along the way. I just have to make sure that my ability to deliver and be organized is up to where it needs to be.

Oh! Ryan and I have also gotten into cooking through this service called Blue Apron. Basically, ingredients for three two-person meals are shipped to us every week and we learn a lot about cooking through making them. They've been surprising and delicious, every week, and I've liked most of them (the only one I didn't really care for was the catfish po' boy). If you find yourself eating out a lot and want to have healthier meals, I'd recommend it. $60/week seems steep but if you compare that to the money you spend on restaurants you might find yourself in a wash.

I've also begun running again, which has done wonders for my energy and mood. This is nominally training for The Overnight Walk, to build strength and endurance in my legs, but the truth is I've just missed being out on the sidewalk. It feels so good to be out there again.

That's where I stand right now. The day job continues to be demanding, and I've taken some time to assess how to deal with that and work on the things that are important to me. Diet and exercise continues to improve, but the weight isn't coming off just yet. All in good time.

If you would like to support my serial erotic fiction project, please head over to my Patreon site and sign up! For as little as $1/month, you can have (almost) weekly episodes delivered to you!

And if you would like to help me support the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, please make a donation to The Overnight, a 16-mile dusk-til-dawn walk through San Francisco to raise awareness for suicide prevention and mental health issues. My participant page is here; anything you can give would be very much appreciated.

jakebe: (Writing)
So the last two weeks haven't been very good for me, focus wise.
For the third week in a row, I haven't posted a new part to the Jackalope Serial Company -- something that I set out wanting to avoid at all costs. My story for People of Colo(u)r Destroy Science Fiction is practically dead on arrival, and with ten days left until the submission deadline there isn't a whole lot of time for me to work on it. Work on New Fables has ground to a halt while I'm dealing with just about everything else, and the day job has been plenty demanding in its own right. With social obligations, exercise and other things, it feels like I just haven't been able to get a handle on anything so far this month.
And you know what? That's OK. There are some periods that will be like that -- where things feel out of control, where another fire pops up as soon as you stamp one down, where you feel like you're working as hard as you can just to break even. But those periods will eventually end; you will be able to take a breath, renew your focus and do the best you can to achieve what you can in the time you can.
I'm knocking on wood here, but I'm hoping that the worst of the busy season is over for a month or two. Last week was preparing for my first on-call weekend, which proved to be more challenging than expected for a number of reasons. The interesting thing about my day job is that there are so many new things to learn; the flipside is that almost every thing that comes up is new to me. It takes time to learn enough to feel comfortable with things, and during my on-call weekend time was something in short supply. It was difficult balancing the needs of my customers with the desire to understand just what the hell I was doing. The plans that I had made for an orderly workflow over the week were thrown out of the window by Friday evening; Saturday was mostly spent trying to figure out one or two issues; Sunday morning was the only day it felt like I could get ahead of things, so I took advantage.
I had hoped to at least spend a little time writing over the weekend, but that did not happen. It was all day job, all the time.
And that leaves me in something of a difficult position with my projects. I'll need to make things right over at the Patreon any way I know how; I'll need to shut myself away for a few days this week to power through a working draft of "The Tourist"; and I'll need to use my newfound powers of Project Management to break down everything I'll need to do in order to bring New Fables to publication.
So far, the ambitious goals I've set for 2016 have had to be rolled back a bit. I've taken a bit of time to panic about that, and to mourn the fact that I wasn't able to do what I set out to do; now it's time to regroup and re-dedicate myself.
Writing to meet tight deadlines; reading to learn how to be better organized; focusing on what's in front of me to achieve what I want. That's this week. See to it! Go do it!
jakebe: (Reading Rabbit)
Now that January has been put to bed, it's time to look ahead into the next month. What does a successful February look like for me?
For one thing, I'm glad that this month should be a lot quieter than the last one. It gives me time to take a breath, regroup and figure out a few things for the spring and summer. Looking further ahead, there's a lot to prepare for: the dearest husband will be going out of town in April, and I'd like to have a revamped Oak's Home campaign ready and waiting for him when he comes back; I'll be taking a number of trips later this year, though I really need to decide where -- Wisconsin for an annual gathering of friends, or WorldCon in Kansas City, or Rainfurrest in Spokane, or my sister-in-law's wedding (assuming I'm invited) in Arkansas? Dates, expense, time off and all kinds of other things need to be sorted out and hammered down. Making sure I've taken the time to prepare for this makes it easier to plan for everything else down the stretch.
But that's later; this is now. So here are my biggest priorities for the month.
The Jackalope Serial Company
My Patreon for serialized erotic fiction got off to a shaky start last month, and I'd like to work hard on it to make sure that doesn't happen again. With any sort of regularly-updating story, communication and engagement with your audience is key, so I've bundled that in to my weekly task list for the JSC now -- every Monday, there'll be a brief note about what my patrons can expect in the week or two ahead.
There's also the matter of making sure The Cult of Maximus is written. Last month (and most of this one), I've been flying by the seat of my pants. I'd like to take the time to really plot out the next couple of chapters and write as much as I can so I can build a small buffer. This cuts down on interruptions, and being ahead of the curve means that I can double back and edit the weekly parts into a chapter a bit more easily. Having lead time to get things done is never a bad thing, right?
Beyond that, I need to sign up for a streaming service and buy a webcam in order to make writing streams or Internet hangouts a reality. And it would be nice to come up with polls for patrons contributing at the "input" level while The Cult of Maximus is going. Since this particular serial was designed to take us through 2016, it'll be a little while before anyone gets to vote on the next one.
So: write as much of The Cult of Maximus as I can to get ahead of the release schedule, and work on making the patron rewards more consistent and clear. That's what I hope to have accomplished by March 1st.
Other Writing
The People of Colo(u)r Destroy Science Fiction deadline is THIS MONTH, and so I need to write "The Tourist" and have it critiqued for a revision edit quick and in a hurry. Frith willing, the short story will be finished this weekend, sent to the writing group for notes and revised by right after Valentine's Day. This is the fastest turnaround for a story I've ever attempted, but I would kick myself if I didn't submit something -- not just a story, but something I felt had a chance of getting in.
Once that's done and my stomach is in knots waiting for a response, I can move on to the commission for a generous donor to last year's Clarion Write-A-Thon. That's been a long time coming -- not as long as the commissioner for "A Stable Love" thank goodness -- but still long enough. I'd like to have that work take me through the back half of the month, with an eye towards finishing a rough draft by early March.
So: biggest priority is making sure "The Tourist" is submission-ready by the Feb. 19th deadline, and I've at made progress on short story #4.
Reading
JM Horse convinced me to double-back and re-read Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse, and I'm excited to jump into that. I'd like to have that (book 3 of 20 to read this year) knocked out by the end of the month. I'd also like to write reviews for the Apocalypse Triptych and Kindred by Octavia Butler, to go up here, Amazon and GoodReads.
My friends loaned me Dungeons and Dragons 5th Edition a few months ago, and I'd really like to start in on that so I can decide whether or not to buy my own copy of the hard-covers. I've been considering changing my Oak's Home Pathfinder game to a system that feels like it's fighting me less (like D&D5e or FATE), but any shift in system feels like a dealbreaker to at least one of my players.
Of course, there's also my growing stack of comics to run through -- I'll start taking a few with me to work so I can read a few pages while waiting for queries or processes to finish. Most importantly, I want to cultivate a habit of reading; it's not something that I've prioritized for a long time, and I want to change that as much as possible.
So: read Steppenwolf, catch up on my comics, and dive in to D&D 5th edition.
Other Things
Writing and reading take precedence right now, but I'd also like to re-dedicate myself to taking better care of my body. I've had a...distant relationship with it and that needs to change. I'd like to be more mindful of it -- I'm not just a brain floating through space, and the body isn't just there to support my thoughts and make sure I continue to think. Eating better, exercising, grooming and looking after my health are all things I'll be trying to do a better job with, though it's not quite with the same focus I'll be trying to tackle everything else.
That's it, really -- at least, I hope it to be. More reading, more focused writing, taking better care of myself. See to it! Go do it!
What are all of you lovely people hoping to accomplish in February? What will you be satisfied with when you're looking back on this time in March?
jakebe: (Self-Improvement)

January 2016 was an extraordinarily busy month; everything just took off like a rocket, and it was all that I could do to hold on. Most of the work was anticipated, but I think I under-estimated the effect of a lot of it, and of course my still-developing organizational skills weren't quite up to the task of keeping everything in order so I could get stuff done. I spent the last day of the month traveling from New York back to Silicon Valley, so exhausted I didn't even realize how tired I was until I got a good night's sleep.

Even still, I can't say it was a bad time. I did a lot of stuff that was fun and enriching, and now that I made it through the worst of it I can take a breath, look at what went right, what went wrong, and how I can use the momentum of the month to propel me through my projects for this one. Here's a brief rundown of the major events last month:

The Jackalope Serial Company
On New Year's Day or thereabouts, I launched the Jackalope Serial Company. It's an idea that had been brewing through the last six months of 2015, and I felt I was finally in a good position to make it happen. The JSC is basically the label through which I tell serialized erotic stories, one chunk every week, until it's finished. The idea is to put up parts of 1500 - 2500 words a week on the Patreon, then edit those parts into monthly chapters that get released to SoFurry, Fur Affinity and Weasyl at a later date. The first serial is The Cult of Maximus, which I'm expecting to be a 100K-word story when all is said and done. That should take us through the first year of the JSC's existence.

Launch was reasonably successful; to date I've got 17 patrons donating just over $100/month for the cause. I appreciate every single one of them! John Cooner did a bang up job on the launch poster/wallpaper, business cards and other assets that will be rolled out in the next month or so. And I've put up the first three parts of the story in January, with parts 4 and 5 coming (hopefully) this week to close out chapter 1.

I wasn't as regular as I would have liked to be starting out, for reasons that I'll talk about below. I'll be spending much of this month and next trying to build up a small buffer so I can make sure the schedule is regular even if something unexpected happens. For now, though, I'm flying by the seat of my fluffy white tail. Thanks to my patrons for the patience they've displayed and the feedback they've given so far; really looking forward to having things settle into a routine this month!

Further Confusion 2016
This is kind of the biggest furry event of the year for me, and this year was no exception. I took part in five panels this year: "Power and Privilege in an Anthropomorphic World", "Furries and the Other", "Write Now!", "Brainstorming in Real Time" and "Mindfulness and Transformation Workshop".

The first two were the biggest surprises and fulfilling experiences I've had at a convention in a long time; there's a real receptiveness to the idea of exploring our differences and power dynamics through furry fiction, and the audience was lively, insightful and wonderful. This is definitely a keeper; I'd love to be involved with it next year. The second two were awesome mainly because I just got to hang out with members of my writing group and talk with other writers about ways we can push ourselves past our blocks or think about constructing stories in a different way. I don't think I've ever laughed as much as I did in those two panels.

For Mindfulness/Transformation, my friend Kannik and I tried a structure to make sure we went over the most important ideas we wanted to transmit and I think that went over pretty well. The exercise portion of the panel could still use some work, but we talked about how to adapt that depending on the read we get from the audience; next year, I think we'll have a pretty good handle on things.

Away from the panels, having conversations and meals with a few people I don't get to talk to that often were the highlight. This fandom is full of such a varied mix of interesting, passionate and unique people, and cons are one of the ways we can plug into that directly. I love talking to people and seeing their perspectives on all kinds of things; it makes me fall in love with the community all over again.

The Day Job Summit
This was a bit of a wrench. My company had merged with a similar one in Europe after being bought by a holding company last year. Initially, the plan was to bring everything together slowly and carefully, making sure the customers for each side didn't feel spooked by what was going on. Apparently, the executives discovered that was no longer a concern and ordered a giant event for the merger kick-off this last weekend in January.

So, this was the first work trip I had ever taken, which is another milestone in my professional development. Thankfully, my husband came with me to hang out and be a tourist, so I was able to enjoy the vacation side of things through his eyes. We also know quite a number of people in the area, and we were able to visit with a few of them.

The overall effect of the summit was building a sense of community between two very different sides of the company; I'm not sure how well that came off, but I know that my particular department (Technical Support) grew a lot closer through the experience. I got to meet a lot of really neat people in European tech support, and we traded war stories. But for maybe the first time, I feel like a fully-accepted member of the team I work in, and that's just incredible. I can legit say I love the company I work for, and the people I work with.

We also saw our first Broadway show while we were out there -- the runaway-smash musical Hamilton. If you haven't listened to the soundtrack yet, do yourself a favor and pull it up on Spotify or your music-streaming service of choice. You will NOT be disappointed. It's a hip-hop/rap musical about a founding father whose story almost never gets told, Alexander Hamilton. The inversion of race (Hamilton, Aaron Burr, Thomas Jefferson and other major characters are black) really punches up the drive of the Founding Fathers, brings their tragedies home in a way I had never considered, and makes me empathize with them in a way I never had before. It makes this old, distant history alive and personal. It's so good.

New York City is a hell of a town. We visited Wall Street, saw people fondling the bull outside of the NYSE, visited Trinity Church and Fraunces Tavern; we went to Brooklyn and had brunch at Flatbush Farm with a major sci-fi/fantasy author (!!); and partied pretty hard at Celsius in Bryant Park, The Eagle on the lower west side (?) and Grand Central Terminal. We saw subway dancers who were amazing, listened to cellists and jazz ensembles, saw the knock-off mascots threatening people in Times Square. All in all, a hell of a trip.

Writing/Reading
I started out strong in January, finishing my first short story of the year for MegaMorphics ("New Year, New You") and wanted to have "A Stable Love" done but the JSC work sucked up all the oxygen in that room. I started The Cult of Maximus, but didn't get as far with that as I'd like, so this month will be a bit of righting the ship as far as that's concerned.

I did read an awful lot, though. I'm catching up on my backlog of comics -- I'm finding "The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl" to be a singular delight, and I'm really digging "Sam Wilson: Captain America". I finished Kindred by Octavia Butler, and that has been a life-changing book for me. It fundamentally changes my idea of black women for the better, and I'll need to let that cook for a moment or two. I started The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms by NK Jemisin, and I'm looking forward to finishing that, and I finished the third collection of the Apocalypse Triptych, called The End Has Come. It features (mostly) post-apocalyptic stories, many of them continued from stories in the other two collections. It was a neat idea that had a satisfying and surprising set of conclusions, and I'm looking forward to talking about that later.

Meanwhile, my reading stack grows all the time. :) Since it's Black History Month, I feel like I should be reading something theme-appropriate, and there is no shortage of books that fit that bill. I'll talk a little bit about that tomorrow.

So that was my January in a nutshell; incredibly busy, full of wonderful and enriching experiences, as well as a lot of opportunities for growth and learning with various personal projects. Tomorrow, I'll talk about my plans for this month and what I hope to have achieved when looking back on it sometime in March.

How was YOUR month? What were your highlights? What stories did you complete or make progress on? What things did you notice that you could do better?

jakebe: (Default)

I've been a little more quiet on the writing front than I feel comfortable with, but there's a reason for that. When I get deep into various projects, I tend to talk about them less because I guess I don't want to reveal how the sausage is made before it's presented. When I push a story out into the world, I want the story to stand on its own -- I don't think the audience should have any thoughts on the author and the trouble or decisions he made to have the story turn out the way it did.


Right now, I'm working on "A Stable Love" and having a lot of fun with it. The characters are surprising me, and that presents new challenges for me to think about, and the writing has been relatively smooth as I march towards its conclusion. I was having a lot of trouble with the first part, which I thought I needed for set-up, to establish the characters and the central issue, but when I got rid of it and moved the beginning of the story ahead, the world just opened up and things became a lot easier. I've shown the customer what I have so far and received an enthusiastic response, so that's incredibly encouraging.


I'm working on another story for MegaMorphics, an old-style APA, and its fall issue. I want my work appearing there to be a bit more polished and considered, which means working on it before the deadline! I have an idea for a Halloween story that I'm pretty excited about; I hammered down the idea with another contributor in hopes of a collaboration contribution -- I work the story, he works the art. I've never written a story like this before (it's horror), and I'm trying to do a few things that I'm not sure about. It's exciting but difficult work, and I'm looking forward to how it will turn out.


After that, working on a story for People of Color Destroy Science Fiction that I'm really excited to tuck into, and the prize story for a very generous fellow who donated the most towards my Clarion Write-A-Thon during week 6. I've given both of those some thought, and I think when I actually sit down to write them, the work will come relatively easy.


This is a completely new experience for me. As much as I love writing, it's always been extraordinarily difficult. I have perfectionist tendencies that have caused storms of anxiety, and that makes it hard to see anything but the mistakes. I've never been able to write shitty first drafts; I know writers who create such polished work right off the top of their head, and it's impossible not to compare yourself against that. My character work is never where I want it to be, and when the characters actually begin to live and breathe and deviate from the plot it legitimately freaks me out. I have no idea how to handle that.


But that's the state that I've always given lip service to wanting to go. Writing, for me, feels like being a conduit for something. When the ego drops away and I'm connected directly to the story, it feels like I'm possessed by something, transcribing an event as being dictated by someone "not me". When a story is really flowing, it's an out of body experience. And I know how crazy that sounds, but it's true.


For the longest time, I've never trusted myself to tap into that. Knowing the history of mental illness within my family, and dealing with my personal experience there, I've been very afraid of indulging any tendencies that could exacerbate those issues. Does writing make me crazier? Is it likely that one day, when working on a particularly intense story, I could have some kind of schizophrenic break? My life unfolded the way it did because my mother did not have any semblance of reality, was paranoid, unable to take care of me. I couldn't live with myself if I forced my husband and my friends to go through that.


I didn't even realize I was having that thought before doing the work I've been doing in my Anxiety group class. And realizing that writing, mental illness and anxiety had coalesced into this huge mental knot is ultimately freeing. I'm more willing to take risks with it, just because the feeling I have when writing is worth it. And that means I'm more willing to make mistakes and learn from them. I no longer catastrophize the consequences; if I fail, I can come back from that. With my mental illness, I trust my medication, I trust my self-care process, I trust my behavioral therapy, and I trust my support network.


For the first time, being a writer isn't some distant dream for me. It's who I am, and it's what I do. And I'm so very excited that I have an opportunity to do the things I've always wanted to do, that I get to be the person I've always wanted to be.


I have an idea for a serial story originally released on-line. It'll be furry stories, sci-fi and modern fantasy, adult. Right now, I would love to write about 1500 words a week, release that part in certain places, then collect three or four parts into a chapter that's released in a more polished form elsewhere. Once the story is finished (I'm thinking anywhere from 8 - 13 chapters per serial), hopefully I can polish it further, and release it as an ebook or self-published novel.


In order to work on this project, I'm launching a Patreon. Folks familiar with my furry work should know what to expect from the Jackalope Serial Company: stories about growth, personal and otherwise. When I'm ready to go live and work on the serials directly, I'll post a link with more information. But for now, I just wanted it out there. I'm expecting to be ready to go with it by the beginning of November.


I've also reached out to a few friends about the Furry Mental Health podcast; the person I know with the best equipment and knowledge for it suggested that I present a proof of concept to him for six shows, with subject matter, segments outlined, all of that. It's a solid recommendation, and I'm working on that. I would like to start recording THAT at the beginning of the new year, with episodes coming out in February or March.


So that's my plan for the rest of the year. Full steam ahead on short stories, getting the Jackalope Serial Company off the ground, putting together a first season of the Furry Mental Health podcast. I'm incredibly excited about all of this, and I can't wait to actually share finished stuff with you very soon.

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