Weight This Week: 169.8 lbs.
Weight 2 Weeks Ago: 169.2 lbs.
Change: +0.6 lbs.
Time: 34 minutes
Distance: 3.26 miles
Top Speed: 6.7 mph
Chest Press: 80 lbs.
Bent Arm Pulldown: 45 lbs.
I've hit a bit of a rough patch, all things considered. The death of toob
's rat Lily put all sorts of notions in my head, and it's been tough to shake them. I always think I'm a little bit more comfortable with the notion of loss and death and ending than I was before until I face it head-on, and then a lot of things I thought I had resolved come rushing back.
It doesn't help that the news reports are all doom and gloom these days. Oil prices are continually on the rise, hitting record peaks week after week for months now...and this is even before our peak driving season. It struck me that between rampant heating use in the winter and air conditioning and driving use in the summer, we're always using oil for some reason year round. We're always paying more, whether it's through our home heating bill or gas for our car, or electricity for fans or AC. We never take a break, really.
I do believe that the Oil Peak has been hit, and the gap between supply and demand will continually grow uncomfortably close until one day we'll hit a deficit that we won't be able to recover from. That day is frighteningly close: even the most optimistic estimates puts the date sometime around 2010. After that, one way or another, our way of life will change drastically.
I'm relatively optimistic. I don't think this means the end of the world or civilization, necessarily, but it does mean living a lot harder than we're used to. A lot of people don't relish the idea, but it's well past time we stopped being so excessive and mindless with what we consume. If we had committed to that, say, eight years ago, we'd be a lot better off today. It's a hard pill to swallow to think about how much different the world would be if Gore were President, instead of Bush.
Last Sunday my mother told me that she had Parkinson's Disease, and had been suffering from it for over 30 years. This was devastating for me; so many childhood memories gained a new clarity, and the tangled knot of guilt I had been saving for just such an occasion came in handy. I'm still working through that, but I have a better handle on it than I did a week ago.
I haven't been very talkative here, mostly because I've been trying to focus on doing instead of talking. It hasn't always worked, but as always, there's progress. My mood keeps going up and coming down more than usual, so on any given day I'm happy, almost beatific, and then angry for no apparent reason, then incredibly sad, and then just tired and amused at myself. It's been a long time since I've felt this...closed inward. Depression has a way of doing that; any external stimulus you get just gets absorbed into your own personal world, all experiences become warped and filtered through an internal lens. I feel myself going that way sometimes, but thankfully I have so many people who can pull my head out of my own ass if it gets too far in. :)
Besides work, there's been the writing group, my biweekly Dungeons and Dragons game, weekly Poker Nights, and other things here and there keeping me busy. mut
and I have been watching season three of Battlestar Galactica
religiously (that is, when Mat isn't off gallavanting about Europe), and there's also Oz
and other things. The summer movie season is ramping up as well, so we'll be seeing a movie a week in theatres from now until August, roughly. Hopefully, this'll make a good excuse to revive 2guysreviews
Oh yes, and somewhere in there was National Poetry Writing Month. It wasn't easy, but I wrote 30 poems in 30 days.
So that's what I've been up to. How's everyone else doing?