Nov. 21st, 2016

jakebe: (Reading Rabbit)
I had a bit of a meltdown about work on Friday; anxiety got the better of me and I just got drained. On Saturday, I still didn't really have anything left and on Sunday I managed to get some schoolwork done, but there's still more to do.

It's clear that I'm going to be under more stress moving forward. The social climate in America has changed to the point where I'm going to see things that stress me out on a regular basis, and it's only a matter of time before the results of that climactic shift will be made personal. As my company prepares to move away from our current product to the next-generation model, customers and coworkers alike are going to have to absorb a lot of change in a short amount of time. And as my education continues and I get out of the basic '101' classes, college will require more time and mental energy if I want to maintain the best GPA possible.

So it's more important than ever for me to practice self-care, time management skills and priority setting. I'm not going to be of any use to anyone burned out, so I'm going to have to get a lot better about stress management and resiliency than I am. I'm going to have to make it a point to do what I can, when I can. And I'm going to need to bundle in time to relax and decompress on top of everything.

Some things are just going to have to be let go. I think that means accepting that my Pathfinder game is going to be on hiatus for the forseeable future, and focusing my writing efforts on schoolwork first, Patreon second, and submissions third. As much as I want to get out there and make my voice heard, there's only so much time and energy I can spare. Making sure that I'm directing both towards the things that matter most is essential.

I'll also probably pull back a bit socially as I try to get my house in order -- mentally, emotionally, professionally and personally. So if I go a little quiet in the near future, please don't take it personally; I'm just going through it right now and reserving what little energy I've got towards the things that need it most.

I think that's it for now. I'll be working on short stories and blog entries this week, with the hope that I can restart the Jackalope Serial Company and The Writing Desk in December. Fingers crossed. 

November 2016

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